Life is pretty tough. But I'm tougher. Cuz God is toughest.

I need extra ultra wisdom and strength for the next 2 years to come. Human wisdom is folly and human strength is irrelevant.
I need God. I need the Bible.

I feel so... out of line. I can't survive this semester without God's guidance. I'd go crazy with worry about the future.

I went to church today.
.
I'll never forget what the pastor said:

 "The thoughts that you'll never be good enough to be a Christian- that you're just gonna sin and fail God again, that you're a hypocrite- they are lies from the devil. Satan wants you to stop worshiping God. He wants you to feel that you'll never measure up because you're too rotten inside so you'll shun away from God's grace and mercy."

Made me think a lot.

I've been obsessed with this show ever since I saw the ads and trailers on Starworld. I never did find the right time to follow episodes though. Now that it's the semester holidays I figured a little tv-serial marathon wouldn't hurt.

White collar is one witty crime serial. Unlike CSI and Criminal Minds, White Collar deals with frauds, con-men, art thieves and heists. Something not so... murderous. It's almost as impressive as Catch Me If You Can, which makes it so engaging.
The main character, Neal Caffrey, in his handsome suit-and-fedora outfit, striking blue eyes and lust-worthy features makes the series so much more irresistible.


I wanna boogie too


*Evaporates*
By the way, irony of it all is that he doesn't like guns very much. He has perfect aim and he knows how to fix up a silencer but he doesn't believe in them to get what he wants. 100 points for not using guns!
 















Just found out he plays for the other team. They have 3 children together. May they live happily ever after. Lucky bastard.


My hopes and dreams and desires and fantasies just went spiraling down the toilet.

"Do not compare yourself to others, for you will be bitter and vain. There will always be people above and below you."

Envy. Everyone struggles with it. People who "don't" struggle to not struggle with it. Or they choose to live in exile from this ever changing, ever demanding materialistic world. Like the monks... way before they started riding Mercedes and went out shopping at Gucci.

I get jealous a lot. I don't show it, because I play it cool. I keep it under control. But the desire to be as smart as the top student in my class, to look as good as that pretty girl, to have whatever they have, it gets to me.

I don't know how but somehow, society has managed to brainwash most of us to be the better person. Get better grades. Have a better life. Choose the better deal. Have a better fashion sense.
Do your best, as long as it is better than the average. If you fall short of the above average line, you didn't try hard enough/ you're just not good enough.
Since when did being average became another term for failure?

Kinda sucks how this system works. Driving all of us to attain more and more, because face it, we compare and we want to be better than average.

So many times I've wanted more for myself. So much so that it has become a kind of bad habit. Or an addiction to be precise.
Yes I am a shopaholic. Can't help wanting more clothes to make myself look better and keep appearances.

But it has to stop. I don't want to go splurging on "affordable" clothes that aren't so affordable if bought in bulk, and feel guilty afterwards because I've wiped my savings clean.

I got to the root of the problem. Envy. That's where all the shopping came from. Nothing but pure jealousy. Then I figured what spurred me on and I'm proud to say I've not bought a single magazine for the whole of this year.
Magazines are so powerful. They make you think you're admiring a certain celeb's style but in reality they're inviting you to want whatever she/he has.

Envy is a pretty powerful thing too. It's like a little seed planted in your heart. Whenever you compare your life with someone else, it grows. Before you know it, a vine's grown all tangled around your heart, and it will suck the life out of you.

Think about it, what kind of life do you have if you keep comparing it to others? Just a question for you readers to ponder upon (if any at all).

I am quite a shit job of a Christian. 

The Lord God made them all

I haven't been blogging lately. Not because I was too busy or had better things to do, because trust me I've been spending a lot of free time (that could have been blog time) following serials like One Tree Hill and How I Met Your Mother. Maybe it was a lack of inspiration. It probably was  because I just didn't want to think and reflect on how my life has been so far.

I had a wake up call to snap me out of the haziness. It came in a form of a nightmare I had 2 days ago. It really got me thinking about the past months, and the future. But I'll save that for another blog entry.

So here I am, wide awake and inspired by a newfound motivation to get my life back on track, blogging just to say: Hey, it's great to be back.