These odd 7 days has been well... Odd.
& Empty.
Odd & empty.

I wasn't even in the mood to hit the clubs last night. Heck, I wasn't in the mood to go out at all these few days. Probably because of my temporary addiction to Dexter. Dexter was a distraction I guess, something to keep my mind busy. But now that it's over...

I find myself not knowing what to do. Yeah there's the YOG going on, and good lookin' athletes to swoon over but loneliness creeps in and I find myself at a loss of what to do. Because I don't feel like doing anything at all.

I think it all started with Saturday night. Don't really wanna go into the details but it left me crying so hard-  it was like as if the harder I cried, the less pain I'd feel. And during all that I needed to talk to somebody but I had no idea who to call. Yeah, there are my good friends that I could always count on to be there for me but, I don't know... the only person I knew would truly make everything better is gone.

And I'm so scared that there will never be another. Y'know he used to tell me over the phone
"Everything will be okay because I love you"
and it'll make me feel so much better.

But now it's like I have to rely on myself and I'm not sure if this inner-strength thing will last very long.