So I talked to him today. Felt it again. The very same feelings. In all honesty even though I've been with other guys they don't measure up. Not even close. How crazy. This is by far the longest I've ever had a thing for someone and it's starting to really scare me because I can't do anything about it. 

The past week I've been so mad at how I've let stupid boys waste my time. But funny how he comes along and it's like all is forgotten. I'd be willing to waste a lifetime.
Insane, right?

I am rather terrified of my own feelings now. I'm so glad that I met Charmaine and Charlotte to talk today, because I know that they would understand (somewhat). In all honesty, and I know I've already mentioned this one crazy fact but, if I were committed to someone else and ----- finally has feelings for me, I'd end the relationship in a heartbeat.

I really don't know why I'm still feeling this way. In fact almost every time I feel let down I'd think that if it were -----, it would have worked out. Because he'll never do such a thing.
But then again, what do I know?

Urgh why did I even go up to him tonight.
Maybe if I continued staying my distance then I could keep my feelings in check. But I can't help it. It's like my brain shuts down.

K Hannah your heart is officially unstable. Time to give this up to God.