My weekdays are gone. It's 9-7 almost everyday and that's excluding travel time. With travel time it's 7:30am-9pm. Weekends are spent studying for the occasional tests and homework and e-learninng and projects. And church of course.

Everyday is exhausting and by Wednesday I just don't have the energy for anything at all. All I want to do is stay in bed and skip school. But that won't do if I'm aiming for at least a 3.8 GPA.

Sometimes I get so tired that I lose sight of the purpose in all this. I question my future and doubt my prospects. Do I really have what it takes to further my veterinary studies? Or will I fall short? What else can I do if I don't measure up? What about the monetary issues?
It all seem so unattainable to me.

And it scares me shitless cause being a Vet's my only goal in life. I've always wanted to work with animals and help treat their illnesses ever since I was a kid. And the fact that I just may not have what it takes...

It's so unfair that everyone are not equals in interllect. People like me, people with lower IQ and/or slower memory, have to work so much harder than the naturals.
Singaporean meritocracy my foot... 

But then again, nothing is really fair. Is it?

So you see, I'm spreading myself thin. I don't know how much more I can take but for now.
3.8 3.9 4.0

Goodnight y'all.

I watched Harry Potter 7 with Felly and Caroline today. It was the bomb. Like The Best Harry Potter Movie Ever. Seriously, by far my favourite of all Harry Potters. All those who don't follow the Harry Potter series because of stupid reasons such as...

- I'm not allowed to cuz daddy and mommy says the pastor said it has witchcraft and we should not conform to the ways of the world (Eh hello and you all can watch/ read Twilight? Which I think is even more evil cause Bella wants Edward the Vampire to suck her blood for sexual pleasure and that is just wrong on so many levels)
- Harry Potter is ugly and so is Ron, they only eyecandy's a girl (Seriously you should slap yourself)
- The movies are not as good as the book (Okay I agree to some extent but watching the movies make it all come alive, like it adds a whole new dimension to the story)

You all are missing out shitloads. That's all I can say.
GO WATCH THE MOVIE PEOPLE IT'S NOW SHOWING IN CINEMAS ISLANDWIDE!

Evidence of my holiday pig-out is starting to show and I'm panicking because my legs look like pig trotters in skinny jeans.
I wanna cry.

Plus I can't wear half of my tops because of a rather unsightly muffin top.

And I can't wear most of my dresses without layering it with a vest cause my arms are gross.

I wanna be 12 again cause I could eat all the KFC I want and still be size 24. I miss being skinny.
It's really inconvenient being curvy. You can't wear nice stuff cause it's too obscene.

Anyway. My sister's in London now and she bought me a Justin Bieber shirt.
HAHA.
And a Guns&Roses shirt and a I <3 London badge.

I usually don't do blog recommendations but this one you've gotta read. Or rather, this blog entry.

It's about animal abuse prevelant in Singapore. Very well hidden behind the sqeaky clean pet stores and friendly store owners and adorable little puppies.

Puppy mills abuse


To all the irresposible, heartless, selfish dog breeders, there's only one thing to say:

Been soo busy with school that I've absolutely no time to think and reflect on my life. I'm so tired now but truth be told, I like this too-exhausted-to-think-about-shit thingy.
It's like a distraction, a good one. School is like stability in my life.
And stability is what I need right now.

It's 9.30pm now and I'm going to bed. I've been sleep-deprived for too long.

My dog's birthday is coming up. He'll be turning 10 (or 70 in doggy years) and it has suddenly hit me that my dog may just... pass on anytime. His life expectancy is 9-14 years. Considering his heart problems, I think he may not live past his 12th year.

I'm getting increasingly paranoid now. When I'm back home, I'll call out for him and my heart skips a beat whenever there's no response. Usually he's sound asleep or hiding out in his favourite corner in the cupboard. I can't imagine coming back home, and realizing that my dog will never wake up. I feel like crying just thinking about it. I don't want him to ever leave me. But... it's ineveitable.
So I'm preparing myself for the worst now. But as prepared as I may be, I doubt it'll make a difference when the real thing happens.

I feel like I'm in one of those movies where the lead has only a year to live.

I love my dog too much to accept the fact that he isn't gonna live much longer. I don't want him to leave me. Ever.

I'll be wrecked. I wouldn't know what to do without him in my life.
And I'm sure that considering everything that I've been through, that would be all of it combined times a hundred.
And I'm afraid that I don't have the strength to pull through.

I don't want him to die.